Under the Weather

For the last couple of weeks I've been under the weather. At first I thought it was just allergies, but now I'm not so sure. It is allergy season for me (when isn't?), but it usually doesn't attack my throat. Of course, my poor nose is raw now, and I feel completely whiny.

My wallet went missing recently, and it was rather fortuitous timing. My driver's license was up for renewal anyway, and I got a new picture (I thought my last one looked stoned, despite my complete sobriety at the time). I needed to activate a new card anyway, which made losing the old one moot. My wallet was ancient anyway and in barely decent condition, and I've been looking for a replacement for months, only to find an excuse not to buy any of them. I got a froggie wallet with butterflies, rather whimsical. All the replacing of everything went much quicker and more smoothly than I thought they would.

I'm ready for my health to quickly improve now too.

Reproductive Concerns

Tomorrow is my annual gynecological examination, yippee. I never look forward to them, as it's not much fun to have someone poking and prodding and collecting tissue samples. However, it's one of the few times where I get to sit down with a professional and talk about any reproductive concerns or options I may have.

I learned that my midwife is no longer going to be practicing at the hospital here in town, and that if I were to have another baby in the next couple of years, that I would have to go to the next town, about a 20 minute drive, to have her (or any other midwife) oversee my delivery. That's not really a good idea for me, as my labors tend to be rather quick. I'd be much too worried about delivering on the drive there.

This is all because not all the physicians were willing to have the midwifes associated/employed directly with the hospital or some such nonsense. Never mind that studies have shown that midwives are safer and have fewer interventions like the dreaded episiotomies than OB/Gyns. I also recently learned that my local hospital has a ban against VBACs, and while I've never had a Cesarean, that also offends me.

In my experience, nurse-practitioners have provided excellent care, often better than that of doctors. My entire family trusts their medical care to nurse-practitioners, and for good reason. For one thing, Evan's cancer was caught by a nurse-practitioner. I have discussed my satisfaction with nurse-practitioners over doctors before, and I continue to be confident in my medical care.

But still, like the vast majority of women, I'm not looking forward to my yearly exam.

hectic life

I have now realized that I neglected to blog for over a month. Not completely out of the ordinary for me, especially when I'm worried about something.

Last week my best friend had surgery to fix a potentially life-threatening condition. I spent quite a bit of time worrying about it before hand, but everything went well. She's back home and healing. I ended up making dinner for her family a couple of times while she was in the hospital, which I enjoyed.

The kids and I seem to be passing around a cold. It's rather annoying. Tasmia has been rather needy and fussy, and it's not been fun.

My oven's heating element broke. I called management, and it took them a few days to come out (bad, bad, bad) only to have them diagnose the problem as exactly what I told them it was: the oven's heating element broke. They are now acquiring a new heating element. They did not bring one with them. This is ridiculous.

Onion Tears

I've been doing much more cooking from scratch, instead of frozen or canned, and I've been using more onions. I'm not sure if using my food processing to chop them makes the tears more, but I've been crying quite a few onion tears of late. Tonight I'm making a chicken penne dish, and I hope it turns out well. I've come to the conclusion that the kids simply don't enjoy my cooking much no matter how much I do.

The kids enjoyed Christmas, and got presents they enjoyed. I surprised Evan with an MP3 player and pj bottoms. I got several books, including 2 belonging to series I read voraciously and season two of Bones, which I rather enjoy. I made baked sweet potatoes and yams topped with raspberries, poached pears, a green bean casserole, and home-made dip to go with a veggie tray. All turned out well, and I am never going back to canned sweet potatoes. Fresh are so much better. I listened to the stories of one of my friends' father, which I enjoyed.

My car isn't starting, so now I have to get it fixed, darn it. It's probably the fuel pump, not that I know much about cars.

Here's looking forward to a new year.

Children

It's the day before the Christmas Eve, and the kids are driving me nuts. Rael wants to watch one of the cartoons he likes, so he's being as noisy as possible. Aeia's wearing a Santa hat and refuses to take it off until after Christmas, yelling whenever anyone pulls it off or tries to grab it. Tasmia is in a lovey-dovey mood and gets fussy if she's not being held. Lash seems to believe that if he just takes forever often enough, that he'll eventually never have to do the dishes again.

Baking went well. This year my best friend wanted to learn to bake. I think that with practice and confidence that she'll do fine. I've been baking since I was 9 or 10, with minimal help from adults. The trick really is to know what is essential to the recipe and what you can fudge (like how much vanilla). Also, knowing the correct way to measure flour is absolutely necessary, as adding the wrong amount can ruin the recipe. You have to spoon the flour into the cup and keep the flour loose, using a straight edge (like the flat of a knife blade) to straighten it out on top to get off the excess.

I just made oven-fried chicken that turned out really well. I used a breading of 1/3 cup potato flakes (the thin kind, not Potato Buds), 1/3 cup flour, 1 Tablespoon paprika, probably 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper, 1/2 teaspoon thyme, 1/2 teaspoon lemon pepper, 1/2 teaspoon Kickin' Chicken, 1/4 teaspoon sage, and 1/4 teaspoon tarragon. I may leave out the sage when I make it again, and may kick it up with a little cayenne, but it was yummy. Tasmia kept coming back for more too. Aeia of course doesn't like it. She doesn't seem to like my cooking much.

But back to festivities. Evan and I participated in a Secret Santa holiday party that ended up not going well. Evan got a gift he much appreciated (Mamma Mia!), but one person accepted a gift without giving a gift. Very tacky and rude. I was going to bake for someone, but I learned that very day that she has Celiac's Disease. I have a repertoire of all of one gluten free cookie, which I save for whenever one particular friend of the kids visits. It's a peanut butter cookie, and I find that it dries out my mouth. It doesn't give me joy, and what's the point of baking something that doesn't give you joy?

The gifts are all wrapped and piled under the tree, and Rael asks hourly to open his presents. Tasmia enjoys looking at them. Aeia is obsessed with size (Rael has the biggest gift, and Lash also has a couple big gifts, but all she has is small gifts, including the smallest one of all).

Happy Holidays everyone. And if you're upset that I didn't use a different greeting, well Bah Humbug to you.

My Day Hasn't Been Great

Today wasn't so hot, but I'm not letting it get me down. I ran late repeatedly. I dropped things. I had someone invade my personal space repeatedly, but not in a way that I could really complain. I upset a friend; we talked and are mending. I didn't sleep well. The kids have been obnoxious, as tweens and toddlers can sometimes be. I ran out of snacks and am so not in the mood for a grilled cheese sandwich.

A couple of weeks ago, having a day like this would have left me crying in the shower, but I'm not there today. Somehow I continue to have joy and hope in my heart. It's nice being an optimist again.

Severity

So I saw the doctor again today to learn about the severity of my allergies. I also somehow missed writing down two allergens: Olive and Pigweed. Turns out the worst offenders for me are Timothy grass (aka hay) and Bermuda grass. The more moderate offenders for me are alder, white birch, oak, olive, sycamore, pigweed, ragweed, and Russian thistle. The mild allergies are corn, peanut, sesame seed, American elm, and mugwort. I'm glad to know that my food allergies are in fact mild, but I still plan to avoid them as much as possible.

Adjusting

I have a doctor's appointment Thursday to discuss the severity of my various allergies and perhaps to find more resources. I've gone through a bunch of cookbooks, found a few substitutions for common corn products, and have calmed down considerably. While daunting, avoiding corn, peanuts, and sesame seeds is highly doable, and I don't have to utterly change my diet.

I may end up baking all of my bread products (except sour dough) from scratch. Foods of the Oriental persuasion will be the most difficult, as most every sauce has an ingredient I should avoid. Eating out may end up being too much of a hassle, especially fast foods. Seriously, the ONLY item on the McDonald's menu that I can eat is a side salad sans dressing. I'm so not a salad fan.

The best thing I can do is to make all my own food from scratch using only fresh ingredients. Good thing I like to cook! My need to avoid corn should actually lead to a healthier diet, which is a good thing.

I still need to look for corn-free ketchup, but I can also make my own if I must. I still have a corn section for everyone else. After all, it's foolish to throw out perfectly good food that someone still wants to eat. I plan to go shopping on Saturday and stock up on corn-free staples, though of course I need to plan a menu before I head out, and I'm also thinking about asking for babysitting.

The older two are still enjoying telling me what I can't eat, so I plan to have them help me read labels. Fun stuff.

Overwhelmed

A couple of hours ago I got the results of my allergy tests. I'm allergic to quite a few trees and grasses, which is why I'm constantly congested. Specifically, I'm allergic to Timothy grass, Russian thistle, Ragweed (which is in many, many pesticides, by the way), mugwort, Bermuda grass, sycamore, alder, white birch, American elm, and oaks.

I also have three food allergies: peanuts, sesame seeds, and corn. Corn is in EVERYTHING!!!!! Everything. I need to watch out for any ingredient that says corn (like corn starch and corn syrup), and many that don't contain the word corn. The list includes caramel, any non-specified starch, dextrose, sorbitol (in most toothpastes), dextrin, treacle, fructose, vegetable gum, maltodextrin, vinegar, unspecified malts, xanthan gum, baking powder, bleached flour, powdered sugar, brown sugar, excipients (pretty much any pill), invert sugar or syrup, mono- and di- glycerides, MSG, sucrose, vanilla extract (contains corn syrup), zein, and unspecific vegetables.

I even have to be wary of plastic wrap.

I can't have most breads or store-bought cookies.

I need a few days to comprehend and adjust to this.

I need to get more details from my doctor as to the severity of my allergies, because I'm allergic to what seems like everything.

I was worried about Celiac Disease, but I think this may be worse.

How am I supposed to bake?

Actually, I'm very thankful to my FNP. I told him that I'd found a condition that would explain all the symptoms that have been troubling me over the years, and even though he'd never heard of the condition (Allergic Tension Fatigue Syndrome), he went ahead and tested me for food allergies.

I'm also thankful to http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com which led me to find the condition. It's really neat and fun for those of us who like to play "House."

Anyway, I'm overwhelmed and will have to drastically change my diet.

Waiting again

I'm waiting on new lab results that will tell me what I'm allergic to. Recently I've had more headaches, fatigue, congestion, and stomach problems, all which may very well be caused by allergies. I'm also waiting on a repeat of my vitamin B12 level, as it increased about 1000 units in 3 months (on a much less rigorous regimen of shots than normally prescribed, as my doctor considered my 20 mile drive in the equation).

Weirdly, I tried calling my doctor just now, but my phone wouldn't complete the call, supposedly by "customer request." WTF? So now I have to deal with the automatons with the phone service and be on hold forever when all I want to do is talk to my doctor. I hate so-called customer service lines.

Stuck

I've started a couple of series of books that are supernatural in nature with a female lead character. The series I've been reading are: Anita Blake, Merry Gentry, Mercy Thompson, and Rachel Morgan. Anita Blake started out wondering if she was becoming a psychopath and now is pretty much smut. Merry Gentry was always smut, but smut that lead to magic. Mercy Thompson somehow remains a mellow read, despite the violence of the werewolves. Rachel Morgan started out rather intriguing, someone muddling their way through a rather complicated life.

Now I'm stuck in the middle of book 3, Every Which Way but Dead. I've realized that Rachel seems to be a thoughtless victim. While life swirls on around her, she'd be unable to survive without her friends, but she seems to have a talent for upsetting them. At this point, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to continue reading the book I'm on, let alone the series.

Misery

I'm on day two of a killer headache, complete with nausea and hypersensitivity to noise and light. Headaches like these make life really difficult and I get them every couple of months. I'm not sure why. They don't seem to be migraines
(migraine medication has made headaches worse in the past), and I thought Depo-Provera was supposed to keep hormones from fluctuating much. I've had terrible headaches from estrogen levels before. Right now it's barely in check, and I have to keep reminding the kids to be super-quiet today. I want to find out why I have headaches and prevent them, because treating them doesn't work as well as I'd like. I'm tempted to go to a walk-in clinic for treatment. I may still.

On Reading

Palin is the anti-feminist. I think most people know that, but she was branded a feminist simply for being a woman in office. No, she's an instrument of patriarchy, making reproductive choices while dreaming of killing that choice for other women.

I've mellowed on the issue of her parenting Trig. She keeps him close and nurses him, and that is what babies need, especially one as young as he is. Still think she was nuts at flying back to Alaska, but perhaps she's always had super-long labors. Who knows.

Anyway, I'm embarking on a reading jag right now, and plan to read a bunch of feminist tomes, specifically the anthologies Making Face, Making Soul and The Feminist Memoir Project. I think I need to remember the past, the past I haven't lived, and rejoice in the present. This election's really getting me down.

I voted

After all the furor over electronic voting machines and how negative votes have been recorded, I ended up choosing to become a permanent absentee voter. I now get a ballot mailed to me that I have to return by voting day. I can either mail it early or drop it off at one of the polls. It's kind of peaceful to vote in the comfort of my own home, and I ended up googling the candidates for my local elections.

I did vote prior to the last debate, but the debate really didn't sway me anyway. McCain came off as the blatant misogynist that he is: he certainly has no regard for the health or earnings of women. Reminds me of kitchen, church, children.

On a lighter note, I watched the finale of Project Runway, and disagreed with the judges (what else is new?). I thought Korto should have won. Her collection showed much more variety and color. I enjoy Leanne, but her collection was just too much of the same. Kenley had quite a variety, but I prefer clothes that are a little more real. Hers seemed to belong to the fantasy realm, and I didn't understand the oversized shapes.

Haircuts

I got a haircut on Friday. Just woke up and decided to chop my hair off. I do that sometimes. I get bored and need a change. Hair is pretty easy to change. Anyway, I chopped it to ear level and had the back of my neck given a long shave (a 6-guard). I'm still getting used to it, but I hear it's really cute.

Right now I'm loving the new Pink video for "So What?" The song's catchy and her video has both fighting spirit and poignancy in it. I think it's great that her ex is so prominent in the video as well, and it's a peppy tune for mourning.

I have a lingering cold, and I'm rather tired of it. The coughing and stuffiness are very annoying.

Rael keeps running/sneaking up behind me and others, yelling "Boo!" and when he gets any kind of attention, laughing and chirping "Happy Halloween!" He's getting really excited about it. Lash and Aeia are looking forward to getting costumes next week, while Tasmia doesn't have a clue. She's thrilled that she's gotten big enough to climb over the toy box that used to trap her in the living room.

I'll have to take a picture of me with my new haircut (or have Evan or one of the kids take my picture) and update my profile on Facebook so my long-distance friends can see my new do.

Thoughts on Reproduction

I read this community Feministing.com on a daily basis, and have noticed plenty of posts about freedom of choice, renaming the fanatical "pro-life" people what they truly are: pro-forced birth, and the importance of making the general public realize that more than likely they know a woman or two who has had an abortion.

I think it's truly important that the stories of women who've aborted (and perhaps some of their male partners as well) become part of the common narrative. I believe it would de-stigmatize abortion and lead to more respect for the sanctity of women's bodies.

I have not had an abortion because I am lucky. All my children were conceived within a loving relationship and none have had any developmental or health problems bad enough to make it harmful to them for me to have another child. I have not had an abortion because all of my children, planned or not, have been wanted and welcome. I have not had to choose between my life or health and that of the embryo in my womb.

Things could have been different. I was young and foolish once. I had terrible relationships with emotionally abusive men, and pregnancy there would have been a trap. I like to think I would have been wise enough to abort back then.

Stories have power, and unfortunately the pro-choice movement has not shared enough stories. I'd like to hear more.

This Weekend

I have a cold right now, leaving me struggling to talk loud enough to be heard, coughing, and stuffy. I'm pretty sure Tasmia gave me her cold, which made her restless the last few nights, keeping me up. So it goes.

Tomorrow evening I'm going to observe the public safety dispatch station and observe what 911 operators/dispatchers do. I'm hoping to enjoy my evening. Evan and I plan to spend a quiet day at home together hanging out with the kids and perhaps playing Rock Band. I'm also anticipating a Pushing Daisies season 1 marathon in the next couple of weeks, though we're still not done with our Veronica Mars entire series marathon. We started season 3 this week.

I baked a cocoa cola cake, which Aeia ended up not liking. I was surprised, as it has several things she likes in it: chocolate, cola, and marshmallows. It's rather moist and fluffy, and I can't keep Rael away from it. Lash enjoyed it, and Tasmia has been rather assertive about making sure I share with her.

Halloween is fast approaching, along with Tasmia's first birthday. I'm looking forward to it.

Beer Spice Cake

This is another recipe I tinkered with from allrecipes.com. I mostly tinkered with the spices, because the cake was originally heavy on the cloves, which isn't one of my favorite spices. It's a very sticky cake, and often sticks to the pan.

Beer spice cake

1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened
1 cup brown sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon cardamom
1 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup beer (I prefer Sierra Nevada Wheat Beer. I tried Pale Ale, but it had a hops after taste reminiscent of bananas)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
Grease and flour a 9x5 inch loaf pan.
Sift together flour, baking powder, spices, baking soda and salt. Set aside.
In a large bowl, cream the butter and brown sugar until light and fluffy.
Add egg and beat well.
Add flour mixture alternately with beer and mix well to combine.
Pour into a 9x5 inch loaf pan.
Bake at 375 degrees F for 40 to 50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean

Shopping

Today the kids and I went shopping. We picked up a Styrofoam ball so that Lash can paint a model of the earth for a science project, and while there we picked up a couple plaster figures for Aeia and Rael to paint as well. Aeia picked out a kitten, and Rael picked out a puppy. They're all super excited to paint.

Outside the store was a plastic jungle gym thing, and Rael had to go down the slide. I let him go down once, and he asked for one more time, so I allowed that. Then, of course, he asked for one more time again, so I picked him up and carried him to the car. I forgot his monkey backpack with leash, which isn't currently in the car. It's really hard to carry Rael when I have Tasmia in the Snugli.

Then on we went to the grocery store where I somehow forgot to pick up milk and cereal. At least I got bread so we can have grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for dinner. I also picked up fruit because Aeia's going to be taking lunch tomorrow because she gets to go on a field trip to the library.

I generally enjoy shopping with the kids, even though they all tend to want treats and special little purchases. They're kids after all.

If Herger just thought like her:

According to Lynn Woolsey, a liberal congresswoman from California:

"Where is the comprehensive economic stimulus package that will assist 95 percent of the taxpayers — a package that includes unemployment benefits, food stamps, infrastructure investment, and of course, foreclosure relief? Stability should come from the bottom up. We need an economic package that will allow those in foreclosure to pay their mortgages and stay in their homes, bringing value back to the mortgage-backed securities that are clogging the financial system. Why isn't Wall Street paying for the mess they created? By reinstating a one quarter of 1 percent surcharge on stock trades, we could raise nearly $150 billion a year from those who have actually caused this mess and profited from it. Finally, question three: With only three months left of this current Administration, why are we willing to even make available $700 billion to them? President Bush and Secretary Paulson have been wrong from the start on just about everything. If you think they will be responsible with this money, think again."