Misery

I'm on day two of a killer headache, complete with nausea and hypersensitivity to noise and light. Headaches like these make life really difficult and I get them every couple of months. I'm not sure why. They don't seem to be migraines
(migraine medication has made headaches worse in the past), and I thought Depo-Provera was supposed to keep hormones from fluctuating much. I've had terrible headaches from estrogen levels before. Right now it's barely in check, and I have to keep reminding the kids to be super-quiet today. I want to find out why I have headaches and prevent them, because treating them doesn't work as well as I'd like. I'm tempted to go to a walk-in clinic for treatment. I may still.

On Reading

Palin is the anti-feminist. I think most people know that, but she was branded a feminist simply for being a woman in office. No, she's an instrument of patriarchy, making reproductive choices while dreaming of killing that choice for other women.

I've mellowed on the issue of her parenting Trig. She keeps him close and nurses him, and that is what babies need, especially one as young as he is. Still think she was nuts at flying back to Alaska, but perhaps she's always had super-long labors. Who knows.

Anyway, I'm embarking on a reading jag right now, and plan to read a bunch of feminist tomes, specifically the anthologies Making Face, Making Soul and The Feminist Memoir Project. I think I need to remember the past, the past I haven't lived, and rejoice in the present. This election's really getting me down.

I voted

After all the furor over electronic voting machines and how negative votes have been recorded, I ended up choosing to become a permanent absentee voter. I now get a ballot mailed to me that I have to return by voting day. I can either mail it early or drop it off at one of the polls. It's kind of peaceful to vote in the comfort of my own home, and I ended up googling the candidates for my local elections.

I did vote prior to the last debate, but the debate really didn't sway me anyway. McCain came off as the blatant misogynist that he is: he certainly has no regard for the health or earnings of women. Reminds me of kitchen, church, children.

On a lighter note, I watched the finale of Project Runway, and disagreed with the judges (what else is new?). I thought Korto should have won. Her collection showed much more variety and color. I enjoy Leanne, but her collection was just too much of the same. Kenley had quite a variety, but I prefer clothes that are a little more real. Hers seemed to belong to the fantasy realm, and I didn't understand the oversized shapes.

Haircuts

I got a haircut on Friday. Just woke up and decided to chop my hair off. I do that sometimes. I get bored and need a change. Hair is pretty easy to change. Anyway, I chopped it to ear level and had the back of my neck given a long shave (a 6-guard). I'm still getting used to it, but I hear it's really cute.

Right now I'm loving the new Pink video for "So What?" The song's catchy and her video has both fighting spirit and poignancy in it. I think it's great that her ex is so prominent in the video as well, and it's a peppy tune for mourning.

I have a lingering cold, and I'm rather tired of it. The coughing and stuffiness are very annoying.

Rael keeps running/sneaking up behind me and others, yelling "Boo!" and when he gets any kind of attention, laughing and chirping "Happy Halloween!" He's getting really excited about it. Lash and Aeia are looking forward to getting costumes next week, while Tasmia doesn't have a clue. She's thrilled that she's gotten big enough to climb over the toy box that used to trap her in the living room.

I'll have to take a picture of me with my new haircut (or have Evan or one of the kids take my picture) and update my profile on Facebook so my long-distance friends can see my new do.

Thoughts on Reproduction

I read this community Feministing.com on a daily basis, and have noticed plenty of posts about freedom of choice, renaming the fanatical "pro-life" people what they truly are: pro-forced birth, and the importance of making the general public realize that more than likely they know a woman or two who has had an abortion.

I think it's truly important that the stories of women who've aborted (and perhaps some of their male partners as well) become part of the common narrative. I believe it would de-stigmatize abortion and lead to more respect for the sanctity of women's bodies.

I have not had an abortion because I am lucky. All my children were conceived within a loving relationship and none have had any developmental or health problems bad enough to make it harmful to them for me to have another child. I have not had an abortion because all of my children, planned or not, have been wanted and welcome. I have not had to choose between my life or health and that of the embryo in my womb.

Things could have been different. I was young and foolish once. I had terrible relationships with emotionally abusive men, and pregnancy there would have been a trap. I like to think I would have been wise enough to abort back then.

Stories have power, and unfortunately the pro-choice movement has not shared enough stories. I'd like to hear more.

This Weekend

I have a cold right now, leaving me struggling to talk loud enough to be heard, coughing, and stuffy. I'm pretty sure Tasmia gave me her cold, which made her restless the last few nights, keeping me up. So it goes.

Tomorrow evening I'm going to observe the public safety dispatch station and observe what 911 operators/dispatchers do. I'm hoping to enjoy my evening. Evan and I plan to spend a quiet day at home together hanging out with the kids and perhaps playing Rock Band. I'm also anticipating a Pushing Daisies season 1 marathon in the next couple of weeks, though we're still not done with our Veronica Mars entire series marathon. We started season 3 this week.

I baked a cocoa cola cake, which Aeia ended up not liking. I was surprised, as it has several things she likes in it: chocolate, cola, and marshmallows. It's rather moist and fluffy, and I can't keep Rael away from it. Lash enjoyed it, and Tasmia has been rather assertive about making sure I share with her.

Halloween is fast approaching, along with Tasmia's first birthday. I'm looking forward to it.

Beer Spice Cake

This is another recipe I tinkered with from allrecipes.com. I mostly tinkered with the spices, because the cake was originally heavy on the cloves, which isn't one of my favorite spices. It's a very sticky cake, and often sticks to the pan.

Beer spice cake

1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened
1 cup brown sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon cardamom
1 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup beer (I prefer Sierra Nevada Wheat Beer. I tried Pale Ale, but it had a hops after taste reminiscent of bananas)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
Grease and flour a 9x5 inch loaf pan.
Sift together flour, baking powder, spices, baking soda and salt. Set aside.
In a large bowl, cream the butter and brown sugar until light and fluffy.
Add egg and beat well.
Add flour mixture alternately with beer and mix well to combine.
Pour into a 9x5 inch loaf pan.
Bake at 375 degrees F for 40 to 50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean

Shopping

Today the kids and I went shopping. We picked up a Styrofoam ball so that Lash can paint a model of the earth for a science project, and while there we picked up a couple plaster figures for Aeia and Rael to paint as well. Aeia picked out a kitten, and Rael picked out a puppy. They're all super excited to paint.

Outside the store was a plastic jungle gym thing, and Rael had to go down the slide. I let him go down once, and he asked for one more time, so I allowed that. Then, of course, he asked for one more time again, so I picked him up and carried him to the car. I forgot his monkey backpack with leash, which isn't currently in the car. It's really hard to carry Rael when I have Tasmia in the Snugli.

Then on we went to the grocery store where I somehow forgot to pick up milk and cereal. At least I got bread so we can have grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for dinner. I also picked up fruit because Aeia's going to be taking lunch tomorrow because she gets to go on a field trip to the library.

I generally enjoy shopping with the kids, even though they all tend to want treats and special little purchases. They're kids after all.