Onion Tears

I've been doing much more cooking from scratch, instead of frozen or canned, and I've been using more onions. I'm not sure if using my food processing to chop them makes the tears more, but I've been crying quite a few onion tears of late. Tonight I'm making a chicken penne dish, and I hope it turns out well. I've come to the conclusion that the kids simply don't enjoy my cooking much no matter how much I do.

The kids enjoyed Christmas, and got presents they enjoyed. I surprised Evan with an MP3 player and pj bottoms. I got several books, including 2 belonging to series I read voraciously and season two of Bones, which I rather enjoy. I made baked sweet potatoes and yams topped with raspberries, poached pears, a green bean casserole, and home-made dip to go with a veggie tray. All turned out well, and I am never going back to canned sweet potatoes. Fresh are so much better. I listened to the stories of one of my friends' father, which I enjoyed.

My car isn't starting, so now I have to get it fixed, darn it. It's probably the fuel pump, not that I know much about cars.

Here's looking forward to a new year.

Children

It's the day before the Christmas Eve, and the kids are driving me nuts. Rael wants to watch one of the cartoons he likes, so he's being as noisy as possible. Aeia's wearing a Santa hat and refuses to take it off until after Christmas, yelling whenever anyone pulls it off or tries to grab it. Tasmia is in a lovey-dovey mood and gets fussy if she's not being held. Lash seems to believe that if he just takes forever often enough, that he'll eventually never have to do the dishes again.

Baking went well. This year my best friend wanted to learn to bake. I think that with practice and confidence that she'll do fine. I've been baking since I was 9 or 10, with minimal help from adults. The trick really is to know what is essential to the recipe and what you can fudge (like how much vanilla). Also, knowing the correct way to measure flour is absolutely necessary, as adding the wrong amount can ruin the recipe. You have to spoon the flour into the cup and keep the flour loose, using a straight edge (like the flat of a knife blade) to straighten it out on top to get off the excess.

I just made oven-fried chicken that turned out really well. I used a breading of 1/3 cup potato flakes (the thin kind, not Potato Buds), 1/3 cup flour, 1 Tablespoon paprika, probably 1/2 teaspoon fresh ground pepper, 1/2 teaspoon thyme, 1/2 teaspoon lemon pepper, 1/2 teaspoon Kickin' Chicken, 1/4 teaspoon sage, and 1/4 teaspoon tarragon. I may leave out the sage when I make it again, and may kick it up with a little cayenne, but it was yummy. Tasmia kept coming back for more too. Aeia of course doesn't like it. She doesn't seem to like my cooking much.

But back to festivities. Evan and I participated in a Secret Santa holiday party that ended up not going well. Evan got a gift he much appreciated (Mamma Mia!), but one person accepted a gift without giving a gift. Very tacky and rude. I was going to bake for someone, but I learned that very day that she has Celiac's Disease. I have a repertoire of all of one gluten free cookie, which I save for whenever one particular friend of the kids visits. It's a peanut butter cookie, and I find that it dries out my mouth. It doesn't give me joy, and what's the point of baking something that doesn't give you joy?

The gifts are all wrapped and piled under the tree, and Rael asks hourly to open his presents. Tasmia enjoys looking at them. Aeia is obsessed with size (Rael has the biggest gift, and Lash also has a couple big gifts, but all she has is small gifts, including the smallest one of all).

Happy Holidays everyone. And if you're upset that I didn't use a different greeting, well Bah Humbug to you.

My Day Hasn't Been Great

Today wasn't so hot, but I'm not letting it get me down. I ran late repeatedly. I dropped things. I had someone invade my personal space repeatedly, but not in a way that I could really complain. I upset a friend; we talked and are mending. I didn't sleep well. The kids have been obnoxious, as tweens and toddlers can sometimes be. I ran out of snacks and am so not in the mood for a grilled cheese sandwich.

A couple of weeks ago, having a day like this would have left me crying in the shower, but I'm not there today. Somehow I continue to have joy and hope in my heart. It's nice being an optimist again.

Severity

So I saw the doctor again today to learn about the severity of my allergies. I also somehow missed writing down two allergens: Olive and Pigweed. Turns out the worst offenders for me are Timothy grass (aka hay) and Bermuda grass. The more moderate offenders for me are alder, white birch, oak, olive, sycamore, pigweed, ragweed, and Russian thistle. The mild allergies are corn, peanut, sesame seed, American elm, and mugwort. I'm glad to know that my food allergies are in fact mild, but I still plan to avoid them as much as possible.

Adjusting

I have a doctor's appointment Thursday to discuss the severity of my various allergies and perhaps to find more resources. I've gone through a bunch of cookbooks, found a few substitutions for common corn products, and have calmed down considerably. While daunting, avoiding corn, peanuts, and sesame seeds is highly doable, and I don't have to utterly change my diet.

I may end up baking all of my bread products (except sour dough) from scratch. Foods of the Oriental persuasion will be the most difficult, as most every sauce has an ingredient I should avoid. Eating out may end up being too much of a hassle, especially fast foods. Seriously, the ONLY item on the McDonald's menu that I can eat is a side salad sans dressing. I'm so not a salad fan.

The best thing I can do is to make all my own food from scratch using only fresh ingredients. Good thing I like to cook! My need to avoid corn should actually lead to a healthier diet, which is a good thing.

I still need to look for corn-free ketchup, but I can also make my own if I must. I still have a corn section for everyone else. After all, it's foolish to throw out perfectly good food that someone still wants to eat. I plan to go shopping on Saturday and stock up on corn-free staples, though of course I need to plan a menu before I head out, and I'm also thinking about asking for babysitting.

The older two are still enjoying telling me what I can't eat, so I plan to have them help me read labels. Fun stuff.

Overwhelmed

A couple of hours ago I got the results of my allergy tests. I'm allergic to quite a few trees and grasses, which is why I'm constantly congested. Specifically, I'm allergic to Timothy grass, Russian thistle, Ragweed (which is in many, many pesticides, by the way), mugwort, Bermuda grass, sycamore, alder, white birch, American elm, and oaks.

I also have three food allergies: peanuts, sesame seeds, and corn. Corn is in EVERYTHING!!!!! Everything. I need to watch out for any ingredient that says corn (like corn starch and corn syrup), and many that don't contain the word corn. The list includes caramel, any non-specified starch, dextrose, sorbitol (in most toothpastes), dextrin, treacle, fructose, vegetable gum, maltodextrin, vinegar, unspecified malts, xanthan gum, baking powder, bleached flour, powdered sugar, brown sugar, excipients (pretty much any pill), invert sugar or syrup, mono- and di- glycerides, MSG, sucrose, vanilla extract (contains corn syrup), zein, and unspecific vegetables.

I even have to be wary of plastic wrap.

I can't have most breads or store-bought cookies.

I need a few days to comprehend and adjust to this.

I need to get more details from my doctor as to the severity of my allergies, because I'm allergic to what seems like everything.

I was worried about Celiac Disease, but I think this may be worse.

How am I supposed to bake?

Actually, I'm very thankful to my FNP. I told him that I'd found a condition that would explain all the symptoms that have been troubling me over the years, and even though he'd never heard of the condition (Allergic Tension Fatigue Syndrome), he went ahead and tested me for food allergies.

I'm also thankful to http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com which led me to find the condition. It's really neat and fun for those of us who like to play "House."

Anyway, I'm overwhelmed and will have to drastically change my diet.

Waiting again

I'm waiting on new lab results that will tell me what I'm allergic to. Recently I've had more headaches, fatigue, congestion, and stomach problems, all which may very well be caused by allergies. I'm also waiting on a repeat of my vitamin B12 level, as it increased about 1000 units in 3 months (on a much less rigorous regimen of shots than normally prescribed, as my doctor considered my 20 mile drive in the equation).

Weirdly, I tried calling my doctor just now, but my phone wouldn't complete the call, supposedly by "customer request." WTF? So now I have to deal with the automatons with the phone service and be on hold forever when all I want to do is talk to my doctor. I hate so-called customer service lines.

Stuck

I've started a couple of series of books that are supernatural in nature with a female lead character. The series I've been reading are: Anita Blake, Merry Gentry, Mercy Thompson, and Rachel Morgan. Anita Blake started out wondering if she was becoming a psychopath and now is pretty much smut. Merry Gentry was always smut, but smut that lead to magic. Mercy Thompson somehow remains a mellow read, despite the violence of the werewolves. Rachel Morgan started out rather intriguing, someone muddling their way through a rather complicated life.

Now I'm stuck in the middle of book 3, Every Which Way but Dead. I've realized that Rachel seems to be a thoughtless victim. While life swirls on around her, she'd be unable to survive without her friends, but she seems to have a talent for upsetting them. At this point, I'm not sure I'm going to be able to continue reading the book I'm on, let alone the series.

Misery

I'm on day two of a killer headache, complete with nausea and hypersensitivity to noise and light. Headaches like these make life really difficult and I get them every couple of months. I'm not sure why. They don't seem to be migraines
(migraine medication has made headaches worse in the past), and I thought Depo-Provera was supposed to keep hormones from fluctuating much. I've had terrible headaches from estrogen levels before. Right now it's barely in check, and I have to keep reminding the kids to be super-quiet today. I want to find out why I have headaches and prevent them, because treating them doesn't work as well as I'd like. I'm tempted to go to a walk-in clinic for treatment. I may still.

On Reading

Palin is the anti-feminist. I think most people know that, but she was branded a feminist simply for being a woman in office. No, she's an instrument of patriarchy, making reproductive choices while dreaming of killing that choice for other women.

I've mellowed on the issue of her parenting Trig. She keeps him close and nurses him, and that is what babies need, especially one as young as he is. Still think she was nuts at flying back to Alaska, but perhaps she's always had super-long labors. Who knows.

Anyway, I'm embarking on a reading jag right now, and plan to read a bunch of feminist tomes, specifically the anthologies Making Face, Making Soul and The Feminist Memoir Project. I think I need to remember the past, the past I haven't lived, and rejoice in the present. This election's really getting me down.

I voted

After all the furor over electronic voting machines and how negative votes have been recorded, I ended up choosing to become a permanent absentee voter. I now get a ballot mailed to me that I have to return by voting day. I can either mail it early or drop it off at one of the polls. It's kind of peaceful to vote in the comfort of my own home, and I ended up googling the candidates for my local elections.

I did vote prior to the last debate, but the debate really didn't sway me anyway. McCain came off as the blatant misogynist that he is: he certainly has no regard for the health or earnings of women. Reminds me of kitchen, church, children.

On a lighter note, I watched the finale of Project Runway, and disagreed with the judges (what else is new?). I thought Korto should have won. Her collection showed much more variety and color. I enjoy Leanne, but her collection was just too much of the same. Kenley had quite a variety, but I prefer clothes that are a little more real. Hers seemed to belong to the fantasy realm, and I didn't understand the oversized shapes.

Haircuts

I got a haircut on Friday. Just woke up and decided to chop my hair off. I do that sometimes. I get bored and need a change. Hair is pretty easy to change. Anyway, I chopped it to ear level and had the back of my neck given a long shave (a 6-guard). I'm still getting used to it, but I hear it's really cute.

Right now I'm loving the new Pink video for "So What?" The song's catchy and her video has both fighting spirit and poignancy in it. I think it's great that her ex is so prominent in the video as well, and it's a peppy tune for mourning.

I have a lingering cold, and I'm rather tired of it. The coughing and stuffiness are very annoying.

Rael keeps running/sneaking up behind me and others, yelling "Boo!" and when he gets any kind of attention, laughing and chirping "Happy Halloween!" He's getting really excited about it. Lash and Aeia are looking forward to getting costumes next week, while Tasmia doesn't have a clue. She's thrilled that she's gotten big enough to climb over the toy box that used to trap her in the living room.

I'll have to take a picture of me with my new haircut (or have Evan or one of the kids take my picture) and update my profile on Facebook so my long-distance friends can see my new do.

Thoughts on Reproduction

I read this community Feministing.com on a daily basis, and have noticed plenty of posts about freedom of choice, renaming the fanatical "pro-life" people what they truly are: pro-forced birth, and the importance of making the general public realize that more than likely they know a woman or two who has had an abortion.

I think it's truly important that the stories of women who've aborted (and perhaps some of their male partners as well) become part of the common narrative. I believe it would de-stigmatize abortion and lead to more respect for the sanctity of women's bodies.

I have not had an abortion because I am lucky. All my children were conceived within a loving relationship and none have had any developmental or health problems bad enough to make it harmful to them for me to have another child. I have not had an abortion because all of my children, planned or not, have been wanted and welcome. I have not had to choose between my life or health and that of the embryo in my womb.

Things could have been different. I was young and foolish once. I had terrible relationships with emotionally abusive men, and pregnancy there would have been a trap. I like to think I would have been wise enough to abort back then.

Stories have power, and unfortunately the pro-choice movement has not shared enough stories. I'd like to hear more.

This Weekend

I have a cold right now, leaving me struggling to talk loud enough to be heard, coughing, and stuffy. I'm pretty sure Tasmia gave me her cold, which made her restless the last few nights, keeping me up. So it goes.

Tomorrow evening I'm going to observe the public safety dispatch station and observe what 911 operators/dispatchers do. I'm hoping to enjoy my evening. Evan and I plan to spend a quiet day at home together hanging out with the kids and perhaps playing Rock Band. I'm also anticipating a Pushing Daisies season 1 marathon in the next couple of weeks, though we're still not done with our Veronica Mars entire series marathon. We started season 3 this week.

I baked a cocoa cola cake, which Aeia ended up not liking. I was surprised, as it has several things she likes in it: chocolate, cola, and marshmallows. It's rather moist and fluffy, and I can't keep Rael away from it. Lash enjoyed it, and Tasmia has been rather assertive about making sure I share with her.

Halloween is fast approaching, along with Tasmia's first birthday. I'm looking forward to it.

Beer Spice Cake

This is another recipe I tinkered with from allrecipes.com. I mostly tinkered with the spices, because the cake was originally heavy on the cloves, which isn't one of my favorite spices. It's a very sticky cake, and often sticks to the pan.

Beer spice cake

1/2 cup butter or margarine, softened
1 cup brown sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon cardamom
1 teaspoon ground allspice
1/2 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup beer (I prefer Sierra Nevada Wheat Beer. I tried Pale Ale, but it had a hops after taste reminiscent of bananas)

Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).
Grease and flour a 9x5 inch loaf pan.
Sift together flour, baking powder, spices, baking soda and salt. Set aside.
In a large bowl, cream the butter and brown sugar until light and fluffy.
Add egg and beat well.
Add flour mixture alternately with beer and mix well to combine.
Pour into a 9x5 inch loaf pan.
Bake at 375 degrees F for 40 to 50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean

Shopping

Today the kids and I went shopping. We picked up a Styrofoam ball so that Lash can paint a model of the earth for a science project, and while there we picked up a couple plaster figures for Aeia and Rael to paint as well. Aeia picked out a kitten, and Rael picked out a puppy. They're all super excited to paint.

Outside the store was a plastic jungle gym thing, and Rael had to go down the slide. I let him go down once, and he asked for one more time, so I allowed that. Then, of course, he asked for one more time again, so I picked him up and carried him to the car. I forgot his monkey backpack with leash, which isn't currently in the car. It's really hard to carry Rael when I have Tasmia in the Snugli.

Then on we went to the grocery store where I somehow forgot to pick up milk and cereal. At least I got bread so we can have grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for dinner. I also picked up fruit because Aeia's going to be taking lunch tomorrow because she gets to go on a field trip to the library.

I generally enjoy shopping with the kids, even though they all tend to want treats and special little purchases. They're kids after all.

If Herger just thought like her:

According to Lynn Woolsey, a liberal congresswoman from California:

"Where is the comprehensive economic stimulus package that will assist 95 percent of the taxpayers — a package that includes unemployment benefits, food stamps, infrastructure investment, and of course, foreclosure relief? Stability should come from the bottom up. We need an economic package that will allow those in foreclosure to pay their mortgages and stay in their homes, bringing value back to the mortgage-backed securities that are clogging the financial system. Why isn't Wall Street paying for the mess they created? By reinstating a one quarter of 1 percent surcharge on stock trades, we could raise nearly $150 billion a year from those who have actually caused this mess and profited from it. Finally, question three: With only three months left of this current Administration, why are we willing to even make available $700 billion to them? President Bush and Secretary Paulson have been wrong from the start on just about everything. If you think they will be responsible with this money, think again."

Pain & Arthritis

So I just found this new article on WebMD about how pain may CAUSE arthritis, which I pondered as I realized that the better I treated my feet, the better I felt. I'll have to bring it up to my doctor next week.

Here's the link: http://www.webmd.com/osteoarthritis/news/20080929/can-pain-cause-arthritis

Betrayals

Today is a strange day. The Republicans refused to bail out Wall Street, and made the Democrats look like the wusses far too many of them are for going along with the scheme. My Republican Representative, however, voted yes. I wasn't going to vote for him anyway.

This weekend, my friends hung out and ended up revealing a faux friend. I have a friend who enjoys pushing buttons. Evan & I figured that out years ago, and tend to take the sometimes extreme statements he puts forth with a grain of salt. Anyway, my button-pushing friend greeted the faux friend with a declaration that everyone was going to enjoy illicit substances at our gathering (with the kids upstairs no less). We're a fairly responsible group who occasionally enjoy drinking, and generally take a cab if we're going out on the town; but of course my button-pushing friend's statement was taken as gospel.

So now my friends and I have been reviled on our faux friend's blog as drug addled morons who are so irresponsible that we do drugs in front of impressionable children.

Faux friend: you know who you are. Drop dead. Don't call. Don't write. Don't show up... Ever. You're no longer welcome in my home. Thank you for showing us what your so-called friendship is worth: jack-squat.

For those who are curious--no, no illicit substances were or ever have been used in our home.

Hell, the one time I got high, it was on my own prescription and completely accidental. The instructions said to take 1-2 as needed for pain, and my headache just didn't go away with only 1. The second pill ended up being too much for me, and I have never taken a second pill for my occasional raging headaches since.

I haven't patience for morons. If you're going to take a moral high road, great. Be moral about it. Oh, and make sure you know what the f*ck you're talking about.

Another Thursday, Another B12 shot

On Thursday, I have to drive about 20 miles to Orland and get a vitamin b 12 shot. About a month ago, I learned that I have b12 anemia, which may or may not be caused by a more serious underlying condition. It can also be a side-effect of nursing & trying to keep up with my older kids.

Perhaps I should give some history: about 3 years ago I found myself in constant pain. It sucked. I went to the dr, and after asking questions and running some tests, I was diagnosed with arthritis and referred to a rheumatologist because I had a positive ANA and an elevated SED rate, meaning that my body was inflamed & attacking itself. After many more tests (like 15-16 vials of blood) and a series of x-rays (hands, feet, hips, head), the rheumatologist decided I might have psoriatic arthritis--at least that's what he was going to call it for now. I didn't trust that diagnosis. Yes, I have psoriasis, but it seems like a mild case, and the places where the psoriasis show up did not hurt.

Eventually, through trial and error, I figured out that when I wore better shoes, my feet, knees, and hips felt better. I started to wonder if it was all because of my feet. My fingers and wrists ended up diagnosed as carpal tunnel syndrome, and now I have braces for when I type, etc.

My dr (technically a FNP) ended up relocating to a new practice, and I was so unimpressed by the nurse-practitioner that took over his patients because of lengthy wait times and her constant interruptions that I quit going to the doctor.

But about 9 months after I had Tasmia, I started to hurt again, so with the help of my good friend Chrissy, I followed my dr out of town to Orland and updated him with my theory that foot problems were actually causing most all of my pain. He decided to re-run several of the tests; and threw in b12 for good measure. I ended up spending lots of money on really high arch supports, and my pain has already disappeared, yay! But he found my anemia. It can actually contribute to nerve damage and peripheral pain.

It looks like my feet were in fact killing me, and that any auto-immune problem I may have isn't currently beating me up. My latest ANA was negative, which leaves several unanswered questions. We'll figure it out eventually, I'm sure.

Regardless, the b12 shots are great energy boosters, and I'm hoping they'll kick in for more than a few days at a time shortly. The ride is nice: lots of agricultural land between Chico & Orland, and I have to cross a river & a canal, so lots of trees. And there's this patch of wild grape on the way too. I enjoy the passing scenery when I'm not running late.

Meatloaf

Today I'm making meatloaf in my slow cooker. I enjoy using the slow cooker on the weekend when I'm having a fun day and don't want convenience food (e.g. frozen pizza). I'm thinking I'll be using it more now that Evan's home again Sunday evenings.

Denise's Meatloaf
Be sure to use lean meats and do not add any additional salt, as this recipe has plenty of fat & sodium.

2 pounds ground beef (or a mix of lean meats)
2 eggs
1 cup sour cream
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 (1 ounce) package dry onion soup mix
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
1 1/2 cups Italian-style dried bread crumbs
1 cup fresh chopped spinach
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 (8 ounce) can tomato sauce
additional seasonings (no salt added), as desired

Vegetables:
1/8 lb baby carrots per expected person
1 1/2 red potatoes per expected person

Mix all the ingredients (except carrots & potatoes) together until the texture is uniform.
Shape into a loaf and put into large slow cooker.
Pour carrots on each side of the meatloaf.
Place halved or quartered (depending on size) potatoes on top of the carrots (you may need to rest some on the meatloaf, depending on how many people you expect to feed).
Cook on Low for 7-8 hours.

So Not a Habit

I find myself not routinely posting to this blog.

Health News:

I am currently ANA negative. Three years ago, I was ANA positive. We're not sure if it was a false positive or if the autoimmune problem that I have currently isn't affecting me.

I am also currently suffering from vitamin b12 anemia, which may be the cause of mood disturbances, nerve damage, and fatigue. I get biweekly shots right now, and will for probably a couple months.

Political Stuff:

I am appalled by McCain and Palin. As for Palin, the theory that she was not the person who gave birth still seems viable, though it would be from a surrogate mother, not from her poor daughter. A family-values plank from McCain/Palin seems so hypocritical, as he cheated on his first wife and divorced her after she suffered terrible injuries in an auto collision. And she showed serious judgment flaws if she really did give birth to her 5th child away from NICUs, knowing she was carrying a Down's Syndrome baby. Was the family going to deny the baby surgery for any heart or digestive problems? And I don't know how she could have gone back to work after only 3 days, as recovering from birthing takes longer with each pregnancy.

Perhaps I'm just a wimp or have been in more strenuous working conditions, as it took me about a week to recover enough to return to school with the first two, back when I was young and in shape.

But the real reasons I'm appalled by McCain/Palin are that I'm for reproductive sovreignty belonging to the mother, I want a national single-payer health insurance program for everyone, trickle down economics just don't work, humans need to do much much more to preserve our environs, somehow the "war" on poverty instead became a war on the impoverished, and dammit workers deserve better.

Sadly, I'm not sold on Obama, and I'm not convinced that I'll vote for Obama/Biden either.

Writer's Block

I've discovered why I haven't really had anything to say all month: I felt committed to writing reviews of books for a 50 book challenge, and I just don't want to.

Tasmia had her echo, which came back normal. I think she caught a cold while waiting for the echo. It took place at the hospital, and hospitals tend to attract the sick.

I've had a cough for about a month now, and am going to the doctor today. I got a same day appointment, how cool is that? And with a doctor (actually, nurse practitioner) I respect & trust. I have to drive to another town, but feel better about that than waiting for an appointment with a nurse practitioner I have issues with.

It's summer vacation, and the kids are happily driving me nuts with bickering and being extremely slow with chores.

Blood Noir

Yesterday I got & read the newest of the Anita Blake books. I found myself disappointed that it didn't continue with the 3 series plot points that came into play with the last book: the consequences of what happened with Rafael, Haven, and Malcolm's church. None of them were even MENTIONED in this book, which thoroughly annoyed me. I've decided to briefly review all 16 Anita Blake books & all 6 (so far) Merry Gentry books in the spirit of a 50 book challenge, as I read all of them this year. And I've realized that I'll have to re-read Blood Noir to be able to judge it for itself, rather than as a piece of the series.

Rael is doing better; he's playing, which is a big step towards recovery. He's still a bit unwell, but definitely improving. We've got to make sure his fever stays as low as possible, or he's at risk for another seizure.

Yesterday sucked

Yesterday was a terrible day. Rael had his 3rd birthday, but was too sick to do anything. I got him a donut for breakfast. It was all he ate.

Coming back from grabbing breakfast, I got into a collision with a little girl on a bike while pulling into my driveway. Her mother came running up from behind her, yelling that she told the girl to stop. The little girl, rather put upon by the intrusion of a car in her path quite huffily said that she wasn't able to stop on this bike. I was so shaken, it took several minutes for me to realize that the girl had hit me, and not the other way around.

Evan & I did have some fun time together playing Rock Band, though I will admit that I'm not the best vocalist. It was becoming seriously frustrating and un-fun when I was on medium, so I switched back to easy mode & did much much better.

Aeia was sad that she didn't get to have donuts for dinner, and complained that I gave her too much baked ziti even though she rather enjoys baked ziti.

Rael had a fever all day, and it got up to above 105, causing him to have a seizure. I called the ambulance & tried not to freak out too much. They couldn't find evidence of any bacterial infection, and his x-rays were clear as well, so they deemed it a virus. He had a chest x-ray. He's still not wanting to take any medication, but I can't give him a choice with such a high fever. I also need to hand him a cup with fluids whether he wants it or not. He generally drinks it when I hand it to him, no matter how much he didn't want it. I expect him to sleep lots more today.

He's currently watching a Sesame Street dinosaur show, and is rather overwhelmed by the attention of the baby. He just can't hand her reaching out to him today.

I'm hoping for no more adrenaline rushes today. I don't know if I'll be able to cope with another one.

Weathering Ups & Downs

This month's weather has been nuts. So far we've had bad wind, mild rain, a triple digit heat wave, and now it's barely 70, leaving me cold & shivery. The weather is nuts.

This weekend I wasn't able to sleep in until even 8 o'clock, as my youngest two woke early, and the elder two slept in. Evan stayed up late, so I let him sleep in as well. At least I recognized that the kids weren't going to cooperate this weekend, so I was able to force myself to go to bed early.

Lash is going on a school trip tomorrow to an environmental camp, so he won't be home all week. He's very helpful, so we're all going to miss him, and probably be frustrated as hell as well.

Tasmia has been blowing raspberries all day. They make her happy as she cruises along slapping the furniture as she passes.

Aeia is currently drawing pictures. She loves to draw. We continue to butt heads about the cleanliness of her room. It's worse than mine used to be.

Rael has been begging to watch various movies. He watched & enjoyed Cloverfield, which he calls "Spider Yarr." He also enjoys Sesame Street Dinosaurs, which he calls "Melmo Yarr." He also likes the various Jurassic Park movies, all of which are "Yarr Park."

I let Evan get his birthday present early this year, which was the Rock Band music video game. We played together for a few hours Saturday, and he and the kids have been enjoying themselves together as well.

Rael turns 3 this week, so I'm making chocolate cupcakes for him on Saturday after Lash gets back. He'll get his presents then as well. We're looking forward to it.

Smores Brownies

This is another recipe I've tinkered with, originally from Paula Deen on Food Network. The brownies she made were too thick, which made them more difficult to eat and the proportions of graham cracker to chocolate to marshmallow seemed off. It's really a basic graham cracker crust recipe, a basic brownie recipe, and marshmallows, scaled to a 13 x 9 pan.

Smores Brownies

Crust:

10 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
2 1/2 cups crushed graham cracker crumbs
3 tablespoons sugar
Pinch fine salt

Brownie:

8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter
4 ounces unsweetened chocolate, chopped
1 cup packed brown sugar
3/4 cup white sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 eggs
1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour

Topping:
4 cups mini marshmallows

Position a rack in the lower third of the oven and heat oven to 325 degrees F. Line an 13x9 baking pan with foil so it hangs over the edges by about 1 inch, which helps for easier removal and clean-up (marshmallows stick).

For the crust: Lightly grease the foil with some baking spray. Stir together the butter, crumbs, sugar, and salt in a medium bowl. Press the crumb mixture evenly over the bottom of the pan. Bake until golden brown, about 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, make the brownie batter. Put the butter and chocolate in a medium microwave safe bowl. Melt in the microwave on 70 percent power for 3 minutes, stirring after every minute. Remove & stir until completely melted. Mix the sugars, vanilla and salt into the melted chocolate with a whisk. Add the eggs and beat vigorously to make a thick and glossy batter. Add the flour and stir until just incorporated.

Pour batter over the graham cracker crust. Bake until the top is crispy and a toothpick inserted into the middle comes out mostly clean, with a few crumbs, about 30 minutes.

Remove from the oven. Carefully move rack to about 6 inches from the broiler and turn broiler on low (if your oven has that setting). Spread marshmallows evenly across the top and toast under the broiler until golden, about 90 seconds, but start checking every 15-20 seconds after one minute to prevent burning. Cool on a rack.

True or False

I have become rather fond of the Facebook application: True or False. I have posted 50 questions so far. Evan's the only person who's answered them all so far. A sampling of the questions I submitted (remember, it's true or false, not all the statements are actually true):

1. I can't stand when card discard piles are crooked and disheveled.

2. I often get nightmares where I'm being pursued by a villain like Freddy Krueger. They wake me up sweating.

3. My favorite pie is apple.

4. I agree that anyone who shoots a police dog should be charged with shooting a police officer, even if the charges are murder.

5. I'm afraid that if I'm ever anesthetized that I will never wake up.

6. I indulge in Tarot & Astrology, but am absolutely sure Ouija is fake.

7. I enjoy outdoor gardening, but tend to kill houseplants.

8. I have had an abortion.

9. I am a recovering anorexic.

10. I have registered as Republican.

I'll be adding more questions on a regular basis, and hope my friends will attempt to answer them.

Video Games

Last night I let Evan pick up his birthday present early: Rock Band special edition, with all the requisite instruments. It took some time to assemble, and while the Guitar Hero controller can sub in for the 2nd guitar, the Rock Band guitar controller can't be used for Guitar Hero. Regardless, this makes the 3rd game I can tolerate enough to occasionally play with Evan & the kids.

I didn't play last night. For the short time I watched, Evan had guitar, Lash had drums, & Aeia had vocals. I thought about trying the drums, but Lash was so excited, showing proper technique & explaining how you could use the drums separate from the game, that I didn't have the heart. Tasmia was quite interested in the boxes & bubble wrap, but Rael slept through the unwrapping. Probably a good thing. He noticed the box today & called it Guitar Hero, so he knows it's another music game.

We'll likely play together today, & I'm not sure yet if I'll do vocals or drums.

Root Beer Cookies

I got this recipe originally from allrecipes.com, and didn't like it. But I had lots of root beer extract left, so I experimented to get the root beer to be the main taste, and not an undertone. Also, I didn't want frosting, so I just didn't make any. I prefer my cookies unfrosted. Now I think the cookies are great, and I can't stop eating them when I make them. Evan disagrees; he thinks they suck.

Root Beer Cookies

1 cup sugar
1/2 cup butter
1 egg
2 Tablespoons cream
1 Tablespoon root beer extract
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (180 degrees).
2. Cream together sugar and butter.
   
3. Add egg, cream and root beer extract, mix.
4. Fold in flour, baking soda and salt.
5. Drop teaspoon sized pieces of dough 2 inches apart on cookie sheets. Bake for 6 to 8 minutes.

Here's the link to the original recipe. http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Root-Beer-Cookies/Detail.aspx

Fretting

I know that fretting does nothing, but I haven't done a good job of distracting myself.

Tasmia's been found to have a heart murmur. It's probably nothing, but she has an echo to make sure in 2 weeks.

On the plus side, she continues to gain weight & develop normally. She's learned to cruise along the furniture & now needs to be picked up & moved from electronics. She's also starting to eat a little food.

So now I need to find something else to think about so I don't fret for 2 whole weeks, most likely for nothing.

Sometimes judges get it right

From the recent decision in California that gay couples cannot be banned from marriage:

"Whether or not the name 'marriage,' in the abstract, is considered a core element of the state constitutional right to marry, one of the core elements of this fundamental right is the right of same-sex couples to have their official family relationship accorded the same dignity, respect, and stature as that accorded to all other officially recognized family relationships. The current statutes -- by drawing a distinction between the name assigned to the family relationship available to opposite-sex couples and the name assigned to the family relationship available to same-sex couples, and by reserving the historic and highly respected designation of marriage exclusively to opposite-sex couples while offering same-sex couples only the new and unfamiliar designation of domestic partnership -- pose a serious risk of denying the official family relationship of same-sex couples the equal dignity and respect that is a core element of the constitutional right to marry."

Yes, gays & lesbians are people too.

Getting Started

Now that I've decided to start a blog that my friends can read & keep updated with me, I can't seem to think of much to say. Go figure.

Earlier this week a complete stranger wrote on Evan's Facebook account that I should sell my weight loss secrets. Um, I got lucky & have a body that doesn't like to put weight on. I don't have a comforting relationship with food--when stressed I lose my appetite. I don't like to feel full, so I only eat until I'm no longer hungry. Aside from occasional munchies, I rarely eat when I'm not hungry. I stopped drinking regular soda & don't sell myself the quackery that diet soda cancels out a candy bar. I understand portion size. There are few foods I find irresistible, and those I do I keep around on a limited basis only. I eat snacks in dishes rather than straight from a bag so I can keep track of how much I've eaten. I fidget quite a bit. Really, making food tends to appeal to me more than eating it does, no matter how good it is.